As most of you know, and do as well, multi-tasking can mean that you can work on projects, talk on the phone, and look casually at other chats, blogs, and online items at the same time: this was one of those days for me.

I was on the phone speaking to an attorney about very serious issues, looking at my facebook--commenting when needed--and writing down important information all at once, when I came across this article someone had posted. Wow.

I proceeded to go to the article they had posted and found a very extraordinary article about fat men and their sexual habits. Wow. I was not only amazed at the article (still not sure if it's a joke) and at the same time, had to comment on it here, so I wrote this blog to discuss the matter.

The article posits that fat men are better in bed because they last longer for women. That statement in itself was suspect (how do they get the stamina?), although there are repercussions for the woman who is involved in the partnership of such men (one woman died of ribcage crushing complications!) Remember, I still did not know if the writer was trying to be funny. Nonetheless, I read on. And now, I want to make my own assessment of this strange study (done by Turkish scientists, no less).

I have, let me disclaim, never slept with a "fat man," or at least I don't think so. First of all, what weight constitutes a "fat man?" Is a "fat man" 30 lbs. overweight, 60? Or, must the man be well into obesity, say, 100lbs or more? Does a man with a beer belly count? Is a man who is merely out of shape, and has a few tires around the ribcage considered fat?

The article finished with a funny conclusion that they wish to study whether it is true also of fat women, but they have to find men to participate in the study, who will have sex with fat ladies....(?)

The trouble with such a report (if in fact, this is a SERIOUS study) is that it objectifies fat people in that it strengthens popular belief about sex being significant only with a partner with physical attributes that reflect advertisements of model-thin, waif-like men and women. Frankly, I don't know how THOSE people can have good sex lives when they have to spend so much time keeping themselves in marketing shape!

Furthermore, Some people don't always start out being fat when they engage in sex , but become fat as the years wear on....

Should such an article give fuel to those who are already in a relationship with someone who has become "fat" and allow them research proof of why or why not they have reason to either engage or disengage from a partner merely because of their physical appearance and not for the real issues of personality disorders? Which brings me to the real point of my comments.

When a society becomes so shallow as to consider so intimate an act as sex so meaningless as to equate it with the looks of a person rather than their deeper attributes--such as humor, intellect, romance, kindness, and initiative or creativity--and this is not an all-inclusive repeitoire of inner beauty attributes, by all means--then it is time for EVERYONE to quit intimacy and just find self-satisfaction in their own private bedrooms; there just isn't enough people with depth, on which to waste any of one's deeper worth OR thought.

I think it is tragic that we even have to contemplate such rediculous assessments when there are larger issues in the world we should be contemplating, such as child abuse, animal abuse, people who are barely surviving, people who are at the threshhold of insanity for their financial, emotional, and spiritual vacancy. Who cares whether or not someone is fat or skinny, or tall or short, or has a blue suit or a red tie, or a small head or a large bottom, oh please! Come on, folks, let's get it together and find more pressing issues, like being happy with being alive, and helping to make everyone else happy with life, and keeping everyone with a decent meal on their table, a smile and a kind word now and then, and forget all these rediculous perusements.

I could care less if my partner is fat or thin; I'd rather work on whether or not my partner is happy. Perhaps fatness or skinniness is a telltale sign just as drinking excessively, or smoking excessive may be as well....Maybe we should work on loving ourselves and others authentically, and we can then learn to look at a person from the inside first, y'think? Then the fat or the skinny; the blue suit or the red tie, or the small head, and etc., and so forth, will work itself out, when we don't even notice....THAT's the way to find authenticity in the world.

Compliments of a happy couple (no adjectives added, please) at


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