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Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Take the call....

So....I am at a crossroads....I am deciding: what do I want? Who am I or want to be? Where will I go? How will I get there, and who will I meet when I get to that destination, or will I meet anyone at all? Maybe I'm meant to go it alone, maybe it will be necessary to always travel light, and take no baggage along....I am continually moving through space and only stop when I pull the brake. It is possible that I may need to assesss through a newly observant I, that the road goes yet another direction. It's an overwhelming, yet exciting strategy for the new journey I am beginning to see.

I am at a crossroads....Do I take the left? Do I take the right? Do I go straight? Do I go back? I am at a crossroads....My choice will determine my true belief in myself...

I have been trying to regroup; reassess my direction, reassess my identity in the wake of some pretty devastating circumstances: divorce, personal affairs, financial upheaval, love, loss, love again, loss again, starting over in profession, starting over in pursuits....starting over....

I was instructed by my truly supportive friends to listen to many tapes of reinvention, read books of self-discovery, and find places to go, meet new people, learn about new pursuits, find new interests....and...start over again....all over again...

Lately, I have been pretty interested in the idea of quantum physics. I am intrigued with the idea of various MEs, and the concept that I am in more than one place at one time, or rather that time is the limiting factor for which we stop, and decide upon this identity, or that one. Directions: which will develop that concept of my new self.

Yet, I am effervescent in a way:  I am part of the Great Observer--some would call G-d, or God, or the Great Spirit, or Energy, or the I AM....I am part of that energy of timelessness, the entire universe that is ever expanding, and I am only myself when I settle into a definition of myself, that I can focus upon according to my limited understanding.

Previously I chose a path and assumed it was the only way I could go, because that was all I was capable of believing, since I had a limited vision of myself. I had this vision of myself by the experiences I had in the earlier part of my life, and throughout my life's journey. I made decisions that reflected who I thought I was and ONLY who I thought I was capable of being. So, every time I chose the same type of path that led me to the same result, as I knew nothing else, or rather, I was afraid to venture into the unknown, I got the same results. We are always more comfortable with choosing what we know...even if it isn't good for us.

But according to Quantum Physics, we can realize the possibilities, because nothing really is fixed. If it is applied to the here and now, it is because I have settled upon that choice. There are other lives--if you will--of myself, that I have the possibility of living; the lives which harbor my dreams of who I can be, who I would like to be, and who I and only I can choose to accept as ME.

In What the Bleep Do We KNow, a film about possibilities and Quantum physics, one of the esteemed doctor/scientists (so many to remember!) he states that he writes down the things he wishes to acheive in his person, life, situation, etc., and even writes what he will attain tomorrow....! Miraculously things begin to move into that direction! http://www.whatthebleep.com/index2.shtml

Even Johann Wolfgang von Goethe said that once one makes up one's mind, then destiny begins to move; doors open, situations arise--circumstances paraphrased, of course.

But then, I must choose, don't I? Which road to take. I learned from much of my reading and listening, and learning, that In the center of my dreams are tenets of possibilities that show themselves in various ways, like a visitor you hadn't intended on having over, or a meeting of someone who is in the field you have been dreaming to enter into, or a phone call that allows you to make a decision as to a job or a trip, or a new venture, or something that has never happened before...these are offers from your dreams, helping to develop and shape the new life I have been seeing for myself...so that means I have chosen one of those pathways, one of those roads....only I did not realize it because I was dreaming of what I wanted and that is how we choose--that is what makes us travel onto the road we choose, whether the Road of Spiritual Awareness ( Peck, 1997), or the road to riches (Hill, 2005) or the road to happiness in Love (Fisher, 1992). And who am I in strengths: my talents, my creativity, the capabilities.... I need to assert myself in that direction upon which I am choosing to embark.

Suddenly, mail appears, phone calls come, people show after a long period of loss of contact, situations arise, and there it is. The next time after you think of your self in the way you WISH yourself to be, watch for that road's direction, take a step forward, believe in yourself....Is that your phone? You never know what opportunity awaits....take the call...

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