Is it so Hard?...
Are your ears numb already from all the hearing that you can no longer take in?
What sadness that we are numb from our aches and pains of listening, yet not balancing ourselves in hearing and speaking....the cure? RESPOND in a thoroughly intelligent way! But there's more: that means hearing has to be authentic, and listening should be so well done that you are capable of paraphrasing fully what you heard.
The trouble with the entire world today, in regards to communications, is that the world of 7 billion people are used to appearing as though they are listening, but really not listening to others, thereby unable to respond with sincerity, and when or if they do respond, they are so inept at it, they resolve to reaction rather than response, in a flippant, aggressive tone, which means that their listening is suspect. It is enough to drive people crazy! Lots of verbal noise, but no meaning.
Men and Women: have you ever had a partner, spouse, girl or boy friend, or acquaintance, WHATEVER you wish to call it. Have you ever had one that when you politely gave a piece of your mind, or perhaps gave a scenario of something that was disturbing your peace, or perhaps you said something expecting a response, and all you got was a BLANK STARE!!!?
Yes! A blank face, stare, person looking about as if you never said anything! What is WRONG with this person! Are they retarded in the practice of communications? THAT is what I would think...
I was married to a man for 25 years who had that problem. I would speak a concern, and he would stare out into the open universe as though he had not heard a word I said, or he would continue doing something, never responding. When I had enough and left the home, he came after me seeking to repair our marriage and suddenly, guess what? Right. He had learned how to speak!!! But more than that, he learned how to listen, so he COULD respond.
Now, this dear person is beginning to show signs of the illness again....what happens?
I think what happens is that people have a tendency to become ungrateful. They don't care anymore abut being alive and having others around them. As soon as they lose appreciation for life and people, they lose interest in other people's concerns and attend to their own interests at the expense of showing interest in others.
Put someone on an island by themselves and you will see how quickly they miss others and desperately want to hear and speak to them again.
I can only speak about my own shortcomings. I need to figure out what it is I need, in order to make me feel valid and "heard." It isn't necessarily someone else I need but something outside of myself that I need in order to feel some kind of validation.
A while back there was this very cute little movie called "Validation." It was "A fable about a parking attendant who
gives his customers REAL validation -- dispensing both free
parking and free compliments."
The most important thing I took away from that cute little movie was the fact that people need to feel validated by listening, by having sincere concern and interest in what they are saying, and responding to them in such a way that they feel you truly cared about them.
Meantime, all of us need to believe that those we love care about what we have to say, and not only those we love but human beings in general.
Whether we care to admit or not, we love everyone at some point also. Just see what happens when a disaster hits, and you will see how quickly we all love each other, and how quickly we listen and we speak with sincerity. So just pretend you are living under a death threat or that you are in the midst of a disaster, and then you might start listening and responding with love and interest to everyone. It really does take a village.