Just what is it!!!

 Capote Poster

Okay, so let's look at our lives for a moment.It all started when I finished reading a biography on Frank Lloyd Wright. I closed the book, sighed, and then I got very

Every time I read a biography, I am torn to ask myself the same question: what makes this character different than all the rest of us that makes a book worth purchasing, borrowing from the library, and, or obtaining in some form, to read about he, she, or it?

I'd love to expound about the biography itself, but that particular event is not the point. If you're lost and really don't care about anything else BUT the biography, go borrow it from the library: Frank Lloyd Wright by Ada Louise Huxtable.(2004). 

We can say the same thing about movies that were made into movies after a book was written about that character, or about the author that wrote the book!! Take, for example, "In Cold Blood" by Truman Capote, (1967), hit the bestseller's list and was a huge and massive book sale. And then a movie was finally made of Truman's life about 
making the book: "Capote" (2005), starring Philip Seymour 
Hoffman--(great movie, by the way).

This is an important question, why? WHY do people have such an interest in a character, that a book is written about that character, and readers WANT to read it? 

So, we all do such and such, and this and that, and all of it looks and feels, and sounds curiously the same..... and suddenly....uh.....hello Hello?? Who is this...? Who's calling, please??? Is there anybody there in the next cubby hole? Hello??? Is anyone really there? Or am I really looking through a mirror into a mirror, into a mirror....(no I'm not taking drugs, never did, never will....)

Am I having a breakdown? Am I coming to a point here? Do I have any thing to say....? REALLY??? Do I??? Do I???

Alright. Back to the books, the character, the movie about the book or character...

It isn't simply about money, really it isn't, although I am sure when money is made, it is appreciated and used happily, but.... 

It's about what sparks the interest of the reader(s) and what makes someone's life worth making others sit up and take notice, and begin asking questions as I am doing at this very instant...

Lately, I've been on this "Modernism" kick. Modernism, for me, was genuine.   http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Modernism

Modernism was a true search into the soul after having found a vacant lot in the promise of finding a grand mansion just off the beach, in some glamorous tourist town...and realizing the reality of living life as we were, which was purposeless and meaningless because it was not of our choosing but the generations before us that did what they were told without thinking about what they were doing.


Postmodernism, on the other hand, was a diffusion to stop us from taking the REAL introspective modernistic view, and changing our world authentically, or at least seeing the truth of our purpose and meaning; our instinctual survivalist needs and pursuits in spite of our longing to live and everyone else to leave us the hell alone...!

Postmodernism gave us some kind of shallow, superficial catharsis so we can go on thinking we've solved the problem and we can get on with the party of getting somewhere.........only.......we're on the same guinea pig wheel--when in fact we're really hamsters!!! All of us!   

I had a discussion with my son, and we were talking about the big industrial machine in which all us working stiffs provide fuel to keep it running by our own blood, sweat and tears....literally.

We were discussing the cliche about the cogs in the wheel, and cynically chuckling about how if one cog dwindles, turns to sawdust, or simply stops working, it (or the PERSON!) will just be thrown into the garbage and another cog will take its place. 

And then I thought (after we hung up and I was walking about aimlessly, disturbed somehow by the conversation of my son's sense of disturbance) and I began to think about that wheel with the cogs, and when a cog DOES create a momentary disruption, there is not only a replacement needed for the wheel to work, but there is sometimes (depending upon the importance of the particular cog that creates a problematic situation) a noticeable crack in the wheel!

If you don't follow me, close this page and go look up something else.   If you follow me, keep reading....

It's like the movie "The Matrix" and I hate referring to movies, but what else can I refer when nearly every human in (at least) this country has seen the movie...The point is (in the movie) that everyone is really asleep, pretending that they have this great life, full of distractions and focuses that keep us in the moment with our "things" doing our "doings" and never letting on to us that we are really stuck in a pod, having our brains sucked out from our existence while we feel the grand machine; the larger forces that seem bent on believing that their existence is greater than yours and mine, and that as long as they keep us unbeknownst to this fact, they can suck the life out of us and make us....YES, YOU GUESSED IT: ZOMBIES!!!! You got it!!!

So here we all are: living in a dream-scape, a vacuum; a house of cards...

And we pretend our lives are great, with a new car every few years, a new house every so often, lots of new babies, and, or new relationships, changes in our professions, our investments, our genitals....it doesn't matter, really, what it is....We're doing it because we feel something's missing, and we don't quite know what it is, but we feel it, and it's bothering us, so we drink more, smoke more, have more fun, mount on more distraction...and....and....you get the picture...

All of it pertains to the one significant fact: they are distractions to keep from realizing that we are in "the Matrix."

Okay. I got it off my chest. Now. I have to figure out how to get out of this damned egg!!!


  1. Pretty deep girl. Thinking about it can drive you nutty. But we sometimes have to stop and mull over our lives and how we are living them.
    I'm glad I continued on reading all of your post. Things are moving so fast and are becoming very different from just a few years ago that it all seems unfamiliar. Trying to get a food in the new world is, at best, difficult. So stop and see where you're standing and what's happening and make the changes you need to feel normal, alive and free to be.


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