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Friday, October 22, 2010

The "Journey" of a Heart

I was exceptionally reminscent this moring, but in a good way, about my obsession with music. I think because I got plenty of sleep last night, and I actually dreamt a lot before waking, so that was something I hadn't done for quite some time, and it actually elevated my mood and sense of well-being...(amazing what good sleep can do). But also, because when your head is clear sometimes, you can clarify things in your heart, and so I did. My heart journeyed a bit farther than it has for some time of late.
Anyway, I dreamt about my son and his wonderful talent with the guitar. He is an excellent guitar player, but he is finishing up his BA in Psych., and I don't think he plays much as he used to do. My dream was about his playing a song, and it was so beautiful (rock, of course, but still obviously ingenius, as the eighties bands used to play) that I began to cry, and then I told him: Son, you don't have to worry about anything. I think you should get your master's degree in music, particularly in guitar, and we'll all get a big house, so you don't have to worry about the main responsibility of the rent/payment, and you can concentrate on your music.

I thought about it as essential to say in my subconscience, I think, because I was a singer as a young girl, and I was very good. So good, in fact, that I was invited to join the international group of the 60s, The Young Americans. They travelled abroad and sang wherever they were invited (sort of like the Mormon Tabernacle Choir, only secular). But I couldn't go because my mother was afraid. I was 16 when I graduated and she did not want me out in the world so young. So I lost my chance. Also, she said, "you can't make a living being a singer" (tell Barbra Streisand, or Aretha Franklin that!), "you have to get a REAL job."

Perhaps I impressed that on my son, somehow, for he seemed to think his music was not something to continue, but getting into Psychology was going to land him "a REAL job." Maybe the dream signified that unconscious lack of resolve in me. Nonetheless, I felt so happy that I told him that in my dream and that he agreed and was seemingly as excited to have us get a big house and have him go on to obtain his Master's degree in music. I wished I had done that...

So I see that everything I do, has to include music. I write with music; I clean house with music; I read with music, I cook with music. And sometimes--well--many times! I leave music on when I go to sleep. Music is part of me.

So lately, I had been going through some monumental changes in my life. I experienced such upheaval, I won't go into here, but suffice to say, it made me think about my view on life. Prior to my present state, I seemed always to feel I needed someone to be with me, to REALLY be successful in whatever endeavor I chose. Somehow that has changed.

It doesn't matter anymore, whether there is or there isn't someone there to hold my hand, I remain as the song by Steve Perry sings, "Faithfully Yours." Who is it I'm talking to? My self. I remain faithfully yours, my dear; my self. And then the other song that I posted is telling of how I feel about the "OTHER," whomever that Other may be. I know now, that I'll get along without anyone, because I remain faithful to my self. I will be me whatever the situation, and I feel good about that. Just wanted to share this whole concept of the significance of the SELF.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OMD8hBsA-RI

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hjOEgDppd6k


As Shakespeare said, in his so meaningful play, "Hamlet" :
"....To thine own self, be true." That has never rung so true to me, as today.

Polonius:



This above all: to thine own self be true,


And it must follow, as the night the day,


Thou canst not then be false to any man.


Farewell, my blessing season this in thee!


Laertes:


Most humbly do I take my leave, my lord.

Hamlet Act 1, scene 3, 78–82

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