To be a Coward

Copywrite - Lydis Nolan, Author - September 4, 2023

 I haven't been here in a while. I've been living the life, average though it may be of course. Nonetheless, when we live thoroughly in the present of moments in our lives, we sometimes forget to journal or write about our daily journey. Is it necessary? I believe it can be to some extent. Obviously not to everyone, for if it was for everyone, then everyone would become writers, and the world would become a cacophony of hearts, minds, and souls, calling out to the universe--or the God of all universes--and each other. 

In a way, we already have that--albeit with authors alone--but go to your nearest library. I have often wandered through the library, especially the beautiful ones, dark wood, stained glass windows, ancient sculptures...those are the ones I hear the whisper of voices of all the authors, their books calling to me about their journeys, their findings, their lives.

I did notice something I thought might interest you. I've been here before. No. I don't mean the blog itself. I don't mean writing here before and I do not even mean de ja vu. I am talking about something very important. I am talking about thinking I am living, but I only live to a certain level, then regress, only to begin again the same journey, and then again, falling short of courage and regressing again. It makes me think I am progressing, moving forward through my life, but I am really not. It's like a job. 

You get up in the morning, dress and go to work. You do the same thing up to the time you punch out. Then you go home the same as always--the same route, the same traffic lights, sometimes you even notice the same people driving along near you. But the point I'm making is you never venture out of that routine. It's safe, it's secure, it's reliable, it's (for you) life.

I realize after seventy-three years that I have been sort of like in a prison, a limited space of existence--the Matrix, if you will... Oh, do not compare me to a negative, whiny person, I am not complaining. I am only observing a life--mine. I thought perhaps someone might understand, or if they do not, they may come to understand the big picture, the point I'm trying to convey.

I remember reading once in the Bible, those "sins" that will be sure to take us down to darkness (hell) after death, and not Heaven. One of those sins was cowardice: that bothered me. I thought to myself, "why cowardice? People cannot always beat being afraid." But then I remember reading in a different place, a comment by the Disciple, Peter: "perfect love casts out fear." Fear feeds a person's inability to move forward, and that's cowardice, because it will not let you grow or be contributive to the growth of others. And in another part I read, "God is Love." And in yet another script I read the only fear we ought to claim is the fear of God who created us to be fearless.

Well, I had an epiphany. All of these are connected. Of course there is innumerable content and context in between these morsels of wisdom, but I found that these excerpts resonated throughout the Bible. And this is what I understood for that moment: we live a life that is meant to make us grow spiritually. The growth of our bodies is only a sample of what God had intended. 

God intended for us to grow through all the tragedy, all the horrific experiences that come from our being human flesh creatures, and we are to transcend those dark parts of our species and become as God intended: in His image--spiritually speaking. So we cannot remain cowards to live, and keep ourselves in a box. It does not mean we should experience evil, like go around killing or maiming, etc., just to find out what it feels like, so we can grow into an evildoer, but that does happen with evil humans, yet--we must transcend those of such evil with courage, do we not? 

Anyway, I realized how silly I've been most my life, being afraid to venture because I was afraid of those evil kinds of things that may happen around me, or to me. I was afraid of the dark, and could only move when someone else was with me, another human. But life is not that way. We are born alone, and we die alone. Even twins do not always die at the same time, do they. So to live a life of abundant joy and comfort and to be fearless and move through anything that may come into our existence, that is what we ought. If we live courageous and without evil or guile, we can eliminate the evil by defending against it without fear, instead, with Love--with God.

Just a thought about my own cowardice in life, and how I strive to overcome it.

Matthew 10:28

King James Version. 28 And fear not them which kill the body, but are not able to kill the soul: but rather fear Him who is able to destroy both soul and body in hell.