What have I learned...

   No one can ever stop the ebb and flow of life, not even the unconscious. Though one may feel as though nothing is moving--it is.

   Much of the time, one stands still only to realize that one is being carried, rather than moving on one's own volition, yet our body of motion occurs in some way, along with our own decision to respond or not. We are always in transition of some kind. We are always either elevating or descending, depending on our sense of fear or comfort. None can escape the daily interaction, if not with others, with inanimate objects or animate objects, those that spur either reaction or response, and change us or strengthen our resolve toward staying the same.

   Hear the sound of traffic. It makes us realize.....REALIZE that we are surrounded by movement. Realization is an action from within. Realization reorganizes the molecules of thought into our brains, our bodies. Look at the sun's movement, which enacts shadows in various parts, moving slowly from one side, to overhead , and side again: we are motivated by this as to where we sit, stand, park our car, walk either on the sidewalk or beneath the trees: we react to the warmth and the shadows. We see stars, and the blanket of darkness behind them and something in us is aware that there is a greater engagement going on beyond our selves. All these events create a response in some way within us: is it hot? Should I attend the meeting? Do I drive or walk? What are those bright spots of energy there for?

   Pensive moments of memory make our blood flow increase, or our heart's rythm skip, or pant, or beat evenly. Someone says hello: our facial muscles change to effect a smile, or maybe someone says, "watch out!" and we recoil instinctively. Someone offers information, and we feel a certain gratitude for their ability to know something we did not know, or maybe it was a piece of information we wished we hadn't known, and therefore we are disturbed by it: our heart rate increases, maybe our blood pressure rises. Everything, everyone affects our space and time in some inordinate way. We look at the young, we look at the old, and we respond differently to each variable.

   We have images in our head of a location that is soothing, or a person that we desire to see or speak with and we suddenly feel a pang of longing, or maybe just a feeling of excitement or anticipation, perhaps even dread for what may occur that would ruin the images forever.

   We are always experiencing some changes in our biochemical make up or our sphere of  influence because of the stimulii that is laid before us, whether we have called upon it to come, or it is hurled at us by some unknown fate or power. We are inside this machine of flesh, blood, nerve endings, and bone, but it is not really us: we are more than that.

   The will to live, to die, to change, all that we are and do is orchestrated by our own volition to effect it. We have this will, you see, and though one might say it is cognition, that consciousness is the only thing that separates us from the animals, it is only partly true. There is something deeper, more powerful than our minds, and it is powerful, with more energy than anyone really knows what to do with. We have this giant inside us all that is stuffed in this compartmental body, but it wants to teach us, move us, forward our experience of life eternal. It penetrates our innermost feeling, whether we can define it or not, but our limited set of understandings, values, beliefs, define and create the impetus for using the energy force to expound upon what we think we have mastered already.

   Light is void of color, color enforces weight to light, so it is limiting. But sheer light is more powerful--how is that? Light penetrates anything, anyone, even darkness. Light is pure energy. Light is translucent, true, and revealing; light heals but first it must burn away the falsity. Light sheers away the body of fearful molecules that huddle together to create in our minds the illusion that we are exclusive inside ourselves.

   Words cannot even explain exactly what I'm talking about. Words are man's rendition of an opening on the bubbly; a chimney on the house;  a paved road on the earth. It does not suffice. Only when one is in complete forfeit, complete acquiesce, can one feel the power of the light within and without that dances all around one's small body in the universe. I am talking in a very limited sense about one dynamic concept that cannot really be explained, yet in a word it is still without complete understanding. It is LOVE.

   Sometimes we think that love hurts, but only because we try to stop it with our own conventions, rules and misunderstanding by way of our past experiences of pain and sorrow--of trying to control the outcome to be managed by our limited selves. Love may feel overwhelming, uncontrollable, even painful--but only because we are trying to keep it within our own understanding, or limited sense of the universe.

   Love does not change. Love is always pure, expanding, and everywhere. If one focuses on love, one may begin to feel that there is no body, no limitation, no end or begining: just a lightness of being, grace, empathy and joy--God is Love, and Love is all that we need to succeed in our journey through life, but we must embrace the truth of Love; we will never own it, or manipulate it, or master it--we are only a part of Love, in the greatest of Love, which is God, the Light.




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